Octathon

Overview

The New Tang Clan has won the Octathon! In a triumph of "Dodgeball"-style proportions, despite all but one of our opponents consisting of jock frat teams, Tang won 6 of our 8 games to finish first. Congratulations to everyone involved.

Organization

Mailing list: tang-octathon04

Captain: Alex Edmans (aedmans)

The Team

Alex "Dumb Jock Captain" Edmans
Danielle "Superwoman" Zurovcik
Grant "The Answer" Shoji
Jack "Very Little League" Bao
Jeff "The Intimidator" Chambers
Jon "No Nonsense" Barr
Kelly "Frat Boy Crusher" Klima
Paul "Maverick" Mitchell
Rory "King Of Geeks" Monaghan
Scott "The Hulk" Rushfeldt
Shan "Heavyweight Crew" Wu
Tom "Tha Shizzolator" Kollar
Tom "Superman" Temple
Trey "I Got Game" Holzwarth
Yogesh "Yogi" Ramadass

Fixtures and Results

View http://web.mit.edu/womens-ult/www/images/briggs_map.jpg for a map.

Date	Time and Place	Sport	Captain	Opponents	Score	Octathon Points	Scorers
3/15/05	6pm, Rockwell	Ice Hockey	Jack	Fermented Penguins	6-2	140	Tom T (2), Jack (3), Paul
4/16/05	12pm, DuPont2	Basketball	Jack	Vet'rans	26-24	102	Grant, Scott, Trey, Jon, Jeff many times
4/16/05	4pm, Field E	Ultimate	Scott / Shan	Theta Chi	2-11	20	Scott, Kelly
4/16/05	6pm, MAC Court	Volleyball	Tom T	Young Guns	15-9, 11-15, 15-12	130	N/A
4/17/05	5pm, Astroturf	Softball	Alex / Jack	Young Guns	Walkover	109
4/19/05	10am, Field E	Soccer	Alex	DKE	4-0	150
4/19/05	1:30pm, Pool	Water Polo	Scott	ZBT	11-2	150	Jeff 7, Scott 2, Tom K 2
4/19/05	5pm, Field C	Football	Jack	Chi Phi	14-34	56	Grant (TD, Jon), Jeff (TD, Jack), Tom (conv, Jack)

The following are Tang's umpiring assigments. Volunteers are highly appreciated:

Date	Time and Place	Sport	Game	Umpires
4/17/05	11am, Astroturf	Softball	DKE vs ZBT	Jeff, Danielle
4/17/05	3pm, Field E	Soccer	ZBT vs Young Guns	Tom Kollar
4/19/05	4pm, Field E	Ultimate	Young Guns vs Fermented Penguins	Shan

Final Standings

Position	Team	Points
1	New Tang Clan	857
2	Chi Phi	821
3	Vet'rans	785
4	Fermented Penguins	660
5	Theta Xi	650
6	DKE	539
7	ZBT	540
8	Young Guns	330

Octathon Rules

Please click here for the rules and scoring system.

Season Review

Ice Hockey

Tang kicked off, actually faced off, the Octathon season with a resounding 6-2 victory over the Fermented Penguins with a storming display that reduced them to the status of watered-down Atkins-friendly beer. But it was a teetotaler who served as chief troublemaker, as hockey captain Jack put the opposition to the sword with a hat-trick. Tang also gave debuts to Alex, Scott, Shan, Tom Kollar and Trey, with Kelly and Rory's only other appearance being during last year's Octathon.

Tang stormed the Fermented Penguins half right from the off, and it wasn't long before the pressure told and "Super" Tom Temple gave Tang the lead. Jack then added Tang's second with a shot from a tight angle. Although the Penguins had their moments, they were kept out by hawkish defense by Paul Mitchell, our only remaining Canadian from last year's triumvirate, with some brave checks coming from Trey, Kelly, Danielle and Jeff in defense. And when they got clear on goal, they couldn't find a way past the cat-like figure of Rory. With the agility of a pussy but the courage of a lion, he deflected, parried or kicked away the raining pucks with a display that Dominik Hasek would have been proud of.

After the restart, Jack embarrassed the Penguins goaltender with a centering pass that the keeper deflected in off his pad. The Penguins finally got off the mark, but there was no doubting the intent of Tang's fourth as Jack completed his hat-trick in fine style, with a wrist shot from the left flank. Scott used his physical presence to frightening effect like his namesake Scott Stevens, Tom Kollar gave a good audition for "Disney on Ice", and the lithe Shan got stuck in where angels fear to tread. Making a soccer goalkeeper-style dive half the width of the rink to reach a puck by the wall, Alex successfully blocked the attempted pass, slid on his side and ended up headbutting the shins of the bewildered umpire standing at the edge.

As Tang went all-out for goals in the final period, the Penguins scored a second, but Tang quickly hit back to make the game safe. Jack's centering pass from the left was fumbled by the keeper and pounced on Gary Lineker-esque (or Luc Robitaille-esque) by the unlikely figure of Alex. But the umpire got his own back for the headbutt by denying him a debut goal, incorrectly ruling that the goaltender had control of the puck. But Tang weren't to be denied the goals their dominance deserved, with Paul finishing clinically and Tom Temple completing a Superman sandwich by closing the scoring with seconds remaining.

-------------------------------

Basketball

Following an easy victory in Hockey, the Tang Octathon team was looking to go 2-0 in a basketball game against the Vet'rans. Instead of the high scoring game that Tang was hoping for, the game turned into a defensive struggle and foul-fest. One Vet'rans player managed to commit four fouls in less than 30 seconds (an even more prolific rate than James Augustine who managed to foul out of the NCAA Championship game in 7 minutes), completely throwing Tang out of its rhythm. Tang, on the other hand, played solid defense with multiple blocks from Jeff and Jon and steals from Tom, Grant "The Answer" Shoji, and Jack. Tang's reserves were also instrumental in a team effort on defense as Alex, Danielle, Scott, Shan, Trey and Yogesh also helped to thwart many Vet'rans drives to the basket.

Grant opened the scoring with a three-pointer and Jeff added two quick baskets. Tang went into half-time 15-10 up and widened the lead to 22-12. However, by using their patented body-checking style, as Tang tired the Vet'rans were able to claw back the entire ten-point deficit.

With the score at 24-24 and less than a minute to go, Tang knew where it had to go to get the winning basket – back inside to Jeff. Jeff banked in a shot with two defenders draped over him, though Tang would argue that he made the shot with two defenders fouling him. Tang followed Jeff's clutch shot with solid defense, culminating in an off-balance attempt by a Vet'rans player (who wore a Johnny Damon shirt and had hair and facial hair just as unkempt as the Red Sox centerfielder) which fell far short.

Jack Bao

-------------------------------

Ultimate

Tang had high hopes of making it a hat-trick of wins against Theta Chi, with our squad featuring this year's captains Shan and Scott, last year's captain Paul, plus Kelly, Grant and Alex from present and past Tang IM Ultimate teams. But we hadn't reckoned with the power of the "Frisbee Nazi". Coming up to us before the game with a sickly innocent smile that would have sent Michael Jackson's heart pumping, he said there'd be no trouble starting without an umpire as ultimate is uncontroversial.

Tang got off to a good start with Scott catching a goal to put us 1 up. After a swift equalizer, the "Frisbee Nazi" started his plan to dominate the world ... of B-minus league MIT Octathon Ultimate. Insisting that Tom Kollar had travelled when catching the frisbee on the run, he demanded a free throw which they promptly scored off to make it 2-1. Believing his players were untitled to unlimited "Lebensraum", even accidental contact with Theta Chi was ruled a foul. When we told him to chill as this was hardly the World Cup Final, he resorted to showing his true colors ... quite literally. He took off his top to reveal a multicolored T-shirt that looked like someone had puked on it. President Hockfield used the MIT endowment to purchase the T-shirt after the game, as she would like to model MIT's next new building on the design. Fortunately he did not take off his final layer to reveal his swastika tattoos.

Tang's game never really got going, as a number of errant passes were intercepted. We suffered a blow when Paul went off with a nasty ankle injury. Although we hit back with a goal from Kelly, Theta Chi went in 6-2 at half-time. And they ran away with it in the second half by hitting 5 without reply to inflict Tang's first defeat.

-------------------------------

Volleyball

Tang's final game of the day was against the Young Guns, the more junior members of the Phi Sigma Kappa frat which had fielded the Vet'rans earlier in the day. Only Kelly had played the game to any sort of reasonable level, but she miraculously coached her green and inexperienced, but enthusiastic team into winners. Tang fell behind early on, but got off the mark through exploiting two deep serves from Alex. The Young Guns hit back to lead 7-2, but Danielle's underarm serve sparked a 7-point rally, assisted by good blocks at the net from Yogesh and spikes from Tom Kollar and Trey. Young Guns kept it close, but a serving streak from Kelly, which included an ace, saw Tang win the first 15-9.

Young Guns started the second match with a bang, racing into a 13-7 lead. Another Kelly serving streak saw Tang take four straight points before Young Guns closed the game 15-11. The decider was epic, with reactions from those on the sidelines waiting from their rotation ranging from Grant lying horizontally, dreaming of Hawaiian beaches and suddenly exclaiming "What, am I on now?" to Alex jumping up and down and shrieking as if coxing the Head of the Charles. Tang saw their 6-2 lead evaporate and were staring down the barrel of a gun at 11-12, despite Kelly's third ace of the game. But great reaction digs from Shan and Jack, coupled with clinical net play from Jon and Trey allowed Jeff to serve out the game and win 15-12. The victory was even more satisfying as all twelve Tang members played an equal part, regardless of their experience.

-------------------------------

Softball

Tang sent 11 players out to inflict a second straight defeat on the Young Guns in softball on a sunny Sunday afternoon. The Young Guns were already reeling from yesterday's volleyball defeat. And when news spread of Alex's current hitting streak and Jack's gold-glove fielding play in Tang's IM softball team, plus Shan, Trey, Scott, Jon and Grant poised to explode in their debut for Tang, they decided to give up without even trying. We take our 4-1 record into the final day.

-------------------------------

Soccer

On a scorching hot morning, Tang managed to field 10 players for our soccer game against the football frat DKE. But we weren't concerned about being a man short, owing to the return of Rory Monaghan and Tom Temple. Tang took an early lead when DKE employed a football tackle on Shan; she picked herself up to rifle home the free kick from 25 yards. We then made it two when Yogesh's through-ball from defense released Scott, who rounded the keeper to score. As DKE attacked, Kelly kept them at bay with a few well-placed kicks, mostly on the shin. Unfortunately, one was in the penalty box, but Alex made his fourth penalty save of the season to maintain Tang's shut-out. Just after half-time, the legend that is Rory lived up to his pre-match billing by curling the ball in directly from a corner, a carbon copy of last year. Tang suffered a blow when Tom "Superman" Temple was called off the field in the second half to solve a crime. So Alex came out of goal to take his place in the field, and scampered down the right wing to deliver a cross which was met by Jack's diving header for Tang's fourth. We then chose to be merciful to the frat boys so that they didn't start crying to their mommies.

-------------------------------

Water Polo

Next up for Tang was one of the most exhausting sports, against ZBT. Short on numbers, captain Scott made a rallying cry for anyone who could even swim, and was met by the figures of Jeff, Tom Kollar, Trey, Alex, Shan and Kelly, with Jack acting as honorary photographer. The game was a laugher as it was clear from the outset that Jeff and Scott could crush ZBT without even trying, particularly as they were assisted in offense by solid debuts from Trey and Tom. Scott employed the best tactic of the whole tournament, throwing the ball in front of him and swimming to chase it - even if the defender swam at full pelt, there was no contest. Jack found the game so hilarious that even the lure of Financial Contracting papers was not strong enough to stop him watching. Debut goalkeeper Alex's greatest challenge was to avoid drowning by laughing too much. As Shan and Kelly kept ZBT at bay, they were restricted to long shots which Alex kept out with soccer technique to preserve a first-half shut-out.

After ZBT finally broke Tang's resistance with two goals in the third quarter, Jeff decided that his seven goals was enough and went in goal. Yet even from within the cage, he was still a potent attacking force. Scott and Tom weighed in with two goals each to make the final score 11-2.

-------------------------------

Football

Octathon 2005 closed with a tricky football tie against Chi Phi, a football-playing frat. Still, Tang had high hopes with Jack, Scott, Jon, Grant and Alex featuring from the IM football team, although the use of short and narrow Field C would hinder the IM team's top scorer from his trademark scary sprints. Captain Jack handed over the QB mantle to Jon, and Tang drew first blood when a 15-yard throw from Jon was expertly caught by Grant on the left flank, who ran it into the endzone for a touchdown.

Unfortunately, as with Ultimate, this proved a false dawn as Chi Phi's receivers proved particularly tricky to cover and they hit back to go in 20-6 at half-time. They'd already started bitching to the referee each time a Tang player touched them, although they thought it fine to run straight into running back Jack. But their whines got even louder in the first half and made the "Frisbee Nazi" seem like a contender for the Nobel Peace Prize.

In the second period, Alex finally found himself space after catching a kick-off, and sprinted down the left flank with a fearsome angry expression on his face. Despite being shoulder charged by two Chi Phi heffalumps, he made it all the way to the endzone but was called back as he'd been shoulder charged out of bounds. Conveniently forgetting that shoulder charging was now forbidden under the new rules, they then swore at Tom Kollar for alleged downfield blocking, even though the Chi Phi players ran straight into him as he charged downfield. Soon after, the Chi Phi quarterback entered into a tirade with Scott, but we were soon advised that it was his "time of the month" and he'd forgotten to take his PMS tablets. Shan came on as a defensive replacement to make it 8 out of 8 sports she's featured in (along with Scott and Alex) but Chi Phi scored two further TDs and a conversion. Kelly's arrival on the field silenced Chi Phi's moaning as her "Frat Boy Crusher" reputation precedes her.

But Jack then took over as QB and sought about getting Tang some valuable points. One smart run by him made the Chi Phi defence think twice; as they assigned defenders to stop him running, this left the field more open for the rest of the team. Alex twice exploited the space with charges down the right. The first time he was stopped by a ridiculous penalty on Grant on the other side of the field, even though Jack had been knocked over for the 22nd time, and the second he was tripped by the defensive back's outstretched leg, a technique illegal even in tackle football. But it mattered little as, on the next play, Jack's expert pass to the left of the endzone was caught by Jeff over the cornerback's head for Tang's second TD of the game. Jack threw the conversion right where it was caught by Tom to make the final score 34-14.

Alex Edmans - Octathon Captain

-------------------------------

Quotes

Alex serves the ball long in volleyball.
Jack: "Alex, stay off the steroids!"

Rory to Kelly in soccer: "Kelly, do him like a frat boy!"

Alex (during soccer warmup): "I must take my top off, I'm really hot".
Jack: "No you're not, you only got a 3 on hotornot.com".

Kelly: "How do you spell Trey's surname"?
Alex positions himself with his back to Kelly and bends over from the hips to show the back of the Octathon T-shirt
Jack: "That doesn't look right".
Grant: "Maybe if they switched places ..."
Jeff: "Where's the camera?!"

(Chi Phi frat boy whinges for the 223rd time)
Grant: "If you have the guts, come and punch me in the mouth."

Kelly: "You can't rent hockey sticks, so beg, borrow or steal them".

Alex's run in football is stopped as his flag has been ripped.
Alex: "Where was I caught me?"
Erik Lampe (Alex's student): "Back here at the first down line; I got you!"
Alex: "Right, you're failing 15.401".

Photographs

The Team